Donald Montross Jr
(1974-2004)
Memorial website in the memory of your loved one

This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Donald Montross Jr who was born in New Jersey on January 23, 1974 and passed away on June 13, 2004 at the age of 30. We will love and Cherish him forever.   You are always with us.........

Death leaves a headache no one can heal....Love leaves a memory no one can steal...


Please light a candle or write a message in the Tributes and Condolences section.  Donny would appreciate it, and so will we....

(The below is etched on Donny's Headstone)

"No Son, Brother, Uncle has ever been loved more or missed so much.

The Grief  we feel is only matched by the Joy you provided.

The Smile, the Dimples, the Laughter shall never be forgotten.

My Partner, My Buddy, My Best Friend, My Son"  

I So Hope We Meet Again.....



"Bub, if Love could have saved you, you would have lived forever"
             By Traci Paulsen, Cousin, was left at Donny's grave

On January 23, 1974 our family had three lovely daughters, Shirley, Kim, and Kelly.  The 2 other things I wanted so very much in life was a house of our own and a Son.  At 8:04 on this day my wish was granted, even the Doctor yelled "It's a BOY".  It is impossible to describe the joy I felt.  Thirty years later, on June 13, 2004 my life ended with his.

My wife and I had planned on calling our Son, Keith Brian.  However, after waiting so long Donald Gene Montross, Jr. was decided.  Donny was a handful from the time he was born.  He weighed only 6 lbs, 8 0z and was up every 2 hours to eat.  He would climb out of his crib, and was always full of mischief driving his sisters crazy.  I put Donny on the bus for his first day of school and cried as the bus pulled away, I missed him already.  Whenever I went somewhere he would beg to go with me and so often did.  We were Buddies from the beginning.  He played Little League baseball and Football, but never did like the discipline part of it.

Donny was not a good student and hated school.  He suffered from a learning disability as well as attention deficit disorder.  This made school extremely hard for him.  He often thought he was "stupid" which was far from the truth.  In order to be noticed in school he became the class clown each year.   My wife and I struggled so to get him thru High School. As a Senior in school Donny bought a brand new Chevy Beretta, Black that he paid for himself each month by working after school and weekends.   We were so proud of him when he graduated.  He immediately went to work for the Public Works Department, he was only 18.  He loved his job so much.  He got to drive large trucks and equipment.  He loved to work and he always worked so hard.  I was Chief of Police at the time and I would meet up with him while he was snowplowing and we would have coffee together.  When I retired he talked me into starting a Lawn Mowing Business with him.  He wanted to keep me busy.  He built up a large customer base and we so enjoyed working together.  He would work all day in the hot sun and then go mowing with me, he never stopped working.

In 1991 he made one of my dreams come true.  We live in New Jersey but I have always been an avid New England Patriots fan.  Donny drove me to see the Patriots play in Foxboro Mass. a 265 mile trip each way.  I so enjoyed the trip with him that I bought season tickets and he and I attended most of the home games until he left this earth on June 13, 2004. As we left for each game he would say, "Dad isn't this great, just you and me leaving all the bull behind us".  At the end of each trip he would grab my hand, shake it and say, "Dad thanks for another Great Father and Son trip, another wonderful memory".  I still keep the season tickets as I had our names put on the seats and don't want to give them up.  I don't think I could ever go to a game again, far too many memories to handle.  Then he started taking me to NASCAR races, New Hampshire, Virginia, South Carolina, Pennsylvania.  He always arranged everything.  Every one of our trips, and there were many, were so enjoyable.  Always had me laughing, we were more like brothers than Father & Son.

Donny certainly was no Angel.  He was all boy.  Started riding mini-bikes at 5 and had at least 6 ATV's each one faster than the previous.  At times he would drift on to property or roads and of course get caught.  But he so loved riding.  He had many girlfriends due to his good looks and personality.  Three of them were serious relationships that fell apart after a a couple years.  One of his serious girlfriends said, "you and Donny have always been connected at the hip", so true that is.....  

On August 14, 2003 Donny bought his first house.  A cute ranch on 6 1/2 acres.  Oh how proud he was.  At the closing he jumped up and gave me a big hug in front of everyone and said, "Dad, thank you and Mom so much for helping me, I Love You Dad".  I will never forget that.  He loved his house so much.  When he wasn't working at his regular job or cutting grass, he was at his house working on "projects" that he always had for him and I. We spent a great deal of time in his large workshop, so much fun.  He only lived 2 miles away.  His fiance lived with him and Donny had a habit of trying to take care of everyone in the world.  It wore him down.  Work, work, work then go grocery shopping, come home and clean the whole house and bathrooms.  

Donny suffered from depression and over my objections quit his medicines 6 months before he passed.  On Wednesday he told me that he had broken off the engagement and that it was for the best and that he would be "Fine".  I was with him on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  He showed no signs of depression except that the dog he loved so much, a Boston Bull Terrier named "Charlotte" had an apparent stroke.  On Saturday he ran the dog all over the state to specialists with no positive results.  Saturday night his ex came back for the rest of her things and took the dog.  I was with Donny until 6:30 pm that night and there were 2 of his friends also.  I left him to be with his friends as they were in the garage and drinking some beers.  When I left he walked me to my truck, put his hand around my shoulders and said, "I'll see you in the morning Paw, I'll be down to fill the gas cans."  Those were the last words I heard from Donny, the last time I saw him alive.

Sunday came and Donny never showed up.  He told me his ex was going to stay the night as she was moving back to Rhode Island.  I figured maybe they were working things out.  Our calls to him were never returned which was unusual.  At 9:00 pm Sunday night I was laying on the couch and a cold eerie breeze blew over me.  I knew something was wrong.  I immediately drove to Donny's house.  I finally found him in his basement recreation room on the couch.  He had shot himself in the head with a pistol I had given him a long time before.  My life ended with his, we were so close.  I will never get that site out of my mind, nor get over the guilt of giving him the gun.  He apparently tried asphyxiating himself in his truck, when that failed he turned to the gun.  I am a Vietnam Combat Veteran and a Police Officer for 28 years who has witnessed more than my share of tragedies.  None compare to that night, NONE....  How could this of happened?  Only 10 months in a house he loved, a great job, a new truck, a part time business with his Best Friend, and our so many trips.  I will never know why.  He told me I was to be his Best Man at his wedding, I wound up his poll bearer at his funeral.

Donny had the heart of gold.  He was a big strong man, 6'4", 230lbs and oh so handsome.  He left no note, but left a CD on replay in his truck, "Mama Pray For Me" is the title.  30 years old and so much life ahead.  He always said "Dad if something happens to you I will be lost, I won't make it".  I always told him to hold on to the memories that we have built.  Now those memories hurt so very much.  I am the one that is lost now and don't know if I will make it.  

My Son, My Buddy, My Partner, My Best Friend,
I miss you more everyday...
I love you Donny
Dad

Click here to see Donald Montross Jr's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
My Childhood Friend - I miss you so!   / Stephanie Borucki (Childhood Friend )
Donny: I just came across this memorial site for you.  Although it is beautiful it does not replace you.  It's been 7 years since you passed and I can still remember the phone call when I was told that you left us.  Even though I had ...  Continue >>
To a Friend   / Gary Breuer (Friend)
Donny You were one of the funniest guys I have known.  You made the days working at the outlet center go by fast...we were all always having fun back then.  We all did some crazy stuff back then...seems like a different time.  Hard to...  Continue >>
Happy 37th Birthday Angel Donald   / Beverly(Harley Walls Mom) (Another grieving Mother )
Happy Heavenly Birthdy Donny   / Mary
Happy Heavenly Birthday Donny.  Please send a sign to your Dad and other family members. 

Sending lots of hugs

Mary Andy's mom (from Webhealing)
Thinking of you and yours   / Terry
Dear Don I know Donny's Angel date is fast approaching and I understand the whirlpool of emotions that can just knock us in every direction in it's anticipation.
I am holding you close to my heart in love and understanding and sending your famil...  Continue >>
Your Donny  / Terry SMJ's Momma (Friend)    Read >>
Donny / Pam Puckett (None)    Read >>
THINKING OF YOU  / Sandy Eversole (friend now )    Read >>
SINCERE CONDOLENCES  / SANDY EVERSOLE (NONE)    Read >>
Gone Way Too Early...  / Darrell Montross (Cousin)    Read >>
My heartfelt condolences for loss of your wonderful son  / Wayne Villante (an admirer of his heart & spirit )    Read >>
Life Is So Different Now  / Dad Your Partner (Father)    Read >>
Don's story--I'm so sorry  / Cynthia Durgin (passerby)    Read >>
Christmas Message  / Traci Paulsen (Cousin)    Read >>
hello from wis  / LaVonne Olson     Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
His legacy
How Fortunate We Were  
Donny brought into our lives so much joy, humor, and loving.  Donny was such a hard worker, 2 jobs and all the overtime he could get.  Then go home and work on his new house.

Donny was loved by everyone his parents, sisters friends and co-workers.

Donny proved it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

He left us all way too soon, a large flame went out when he left, but the memories are to be cherished as a gift from Donny.
Last Letter To My Son,  
I would have no idea as to how to start to write about Donny's Legacy.  He stood 6'4" and 240 lbs.  His heart was so much bigger than that.  Brought joy to everyone, turned rainy days to sunshine, worked so very hard, loved his family to no end, overcame so many things, and became so successful.  This could go on and on forever about a GREAT SON.

Donny was a loyal friend, when a friend needed anything Donny was there.  When his family had troubles he could sense it and be there for us.  To me Donny was my inspiration, my reason for getting up in the morning, my reason to look forward to tomorrow.  He took me places and did things with me that I would have never done.  His Legacy to me, he made me want to live.........

The below is a letter I wrote and read to my Son at his viewing, then placed it in the casket with him.  It only partially explains how much I love him.

June 16, 2004

Dear Donny,
Donny, Buddy, Tiger, Partner, Bub, all names I used when talking with you.  Most of all My Son, My Best Friend.  I will never understand how this could of happened.  You will never know the pain it has caused.  Everyone says hold on to all the memories.  Unfortunately all those memories seem to hurt the most right now.  Knowing there shall be no more. ........

Our Lawn Business, Our trips to Foxboro each year, the Nascar race trips, the Football Hall of Fame, sitting in the rain to see Joe Montana inducted, working on your new house you loved so much, your calling and stopping by every day, you calling me when I was plowing to make sure I was OK.

My life and the rest of your family has changed forever.  There shall always be such a gaping hole that can never be filled again.  You brought so much laughter, so much joy whenever you were around.  You always worried so much about us, and were there to care for anyone who needed help.

The last lawn we cut together on June 11 will be engraved in my mind until I leave this earth.  The roses you cut for Mom that day, just another Donny way of saying "I Love You".  I shall forever see you on the mower that Friday blowing grass on me.  That was my Son, that was my Buddy.  You caused me so much grey hair, but made life worth living.  How you cooked us hamburgers and hot dogs on your deck before we mowed that day.  

I will always believe that you were right when you use to say that we had the best Father & Son relationship in the world.  This could go on forever but you know what we had.  You always told me to take care of myself as you couldn't stand to lose me.  Now I have lost you and that is not the way it was suppose to be.  You said it would destroy you, believe me Son it has destroyed me to lose you.  A parent should never have to bury a child, especially a child that brought so much joy and companionship.

You assured me that you were "fine", you promised me that you would not do anything stupid.  You broke a promise and you were not "fine".  I so wish you had only called as I asked if things got tough.  You know I would of been there in a second to help.  I so wish you would of said good bye in the proper way.  I would of given anything to stop this, anything.

You were so young, so full of life, you had the world in your hands.  I will never understand how this could of happened but it has.  I felt so helpless when I found you, a feeling that I hope no father ever has to go through.  I would of given anything to once again help you, anything, but it couldn't be done this time.

I will have to say good-bye for now.  I can only hope and pray that we shall be together again someday.  You will be in my thoughts every day, I shall always look for your truck to pull in the drive, your daily phone call, your saying "hey Paw, I have another project for you",  "hey partner heres the lawn schedule for next week", "Dad we will leave for Foxboro at...", "I have a feeling the Patriots are going to lose"....

Buddy, I Love You more than life, I will forgive you, but I will never get over losing my only Son, my Best Friend.....

Love You Tiger,

Dad
 
Donald's Photo Album
Donny with his beautiful smile and as always, 49ers hat.
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